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Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007
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5:46 pm
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oh wow haha. i havent updated this in ages! well, i'm at a new journal now. happy new year!
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| Monday, May 29th, 2006
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11:26 am - WHAT IS GOING ON???
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ok... so i click random again... and this is the first entry in this other chick's journal... holy crap!!! WHAT IS GOING ON????
I dont know whether to be happy or sad...i mean i have found my true love....but he is so far away. The pain i feel being so far from him is unbelievable....my soul aches for him to be in my arms.....yet the happiness i have when i talk to him is so consuming that i feel like i will burst. If i lose him i will be devastated, but.....life will go on but i think that i will always hold him close to my heart. When he called me we were talking about baby names...and what we would do to make the childs life the best possible....even though we wont be able to even touch each other for about another 8 months. Life without love is nothingness.....whether it is love for your family, freinds, nature, life or that special person.
Live life, Love, Live Breathe
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(comment on this)
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11:23 am - holy poopers
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I stole this from some chick's journal. i clicked on random and this was in the first journal. i was like HOLY CRAP!!! for those of u that understand...
I've never seen him only heard his voice. I've never touched him yet i can feel his embrace. He's the only one for me. Can't live without him. I don't know anything about him except that i love him. LOVE Love is indescribable. It's the best feeling in the world but it's also the worst. When you're in love with someone they mean the world to you. You would sacrifice your life for theirs. that one person can make everything in world seem right when you're around them even though in reality your life is a mess and so is the world around you.
current mood:  loved
current music: click click click of the keyboard
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, May 28th, 2006
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11:39 am
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my head hurts
i feel like im going to pass out
my stomach wont stop cramping
oh yeah. and did i mention?
i hate amber.
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, May 25th, 2006
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9:40 am - ahhhhhhh
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so today is the second to last day of real classes!!!! ahhhhh!!! yay!!! so happy... except not...
i leave indonesia in 15 days... that makes me so so so so sad... i think im gonna cry
no more
meagan
teddy
alicia
blair
sam
hannah
marc
bah!!! too many people
indomie
maids
drivers
big rooms
little brothers
parents
wendy
aghhh
im gonna miss everything so much
dont know what im gonna do
going crazy
i havent packed yet
i dont know for definite where im going
i got new shoes
converse
i dont want to go to mississippi
i dont want to go to america
i dont want to go to school
i dont want to go to texas
i dont want to leave
i dont want to go
my tooth hurts
the one on the way back...
on the left
i think ive been squeezing it to much
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, May 23rd, 2006
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10:12 am - this is how i feel right now
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9:46 am - i am so retarded
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well... i am officially the most retarded person alive... i feel SOOOOO BAD!!!!! so i decided not to go to english cuz i hadn't finished my essay and whatnot and would get into BIG trouble if i was there... so... hmmm... me, being the smart one that i am, convinces myself that period 8 is first. english... when in fact period 7, joint sound is first... agh!!! so i get to school and im all ready to go to physics period 5 and everybody is like... no, its period 8... damn!!! so i went up and apologized to mr. d and he said that it was ok... but i still feel bad because we have a gig today... actually.. 2 gigs... damn... i screwed up... BIG TIME... i feel like crap... anyway... POO!! DAMNIT!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ok.. i feel a bit better... hmmm... not really. oh well... :(
current mood:  aggravated
current music: trance stuff from this guys computer
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| Monday, May 22nd, 2006
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11:09 pm - just like meg said.. i never update
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so yeah. im sorry... just been really busy lately... so much stuff on my head. i guess that means that i SHOULD be putting it in here. oh well. well. to start off. its 11:11pm... make a wish... and i haven't even thought about starting my english essay that is due tommorow. in normal circumstances i would just not go to class and then turn it in the next day... but this is not normal circumstances. this is like.. we have a week left of school and if i miss anymore classes im not going to get credit for them and possible fail my senior year... just a few days short of graduation... now tell me how much that would suck. i guess that means that when i get done with this i will be upstairs for a while on the laptop working working working... bah. my eyes hurt. my stomach tickles... i wanna sleep... but i feel like i can't. these past few days ive been running on around 3 or 4 hours of sleep everynight. i know its bad... but thats just how the cookie crumbles. i think that im becoming less and less dependent on people, expecting that they are always gonna be there... and depending more on myself... kinda like the no sleep running on empty thing.. if u get that then good.. if u dont. im sorry... it almost makes sense... it does it my head at least... wow. thats like the only thing that makes sense in my head right now... ahhhh... i know that meg reads this.. but im gonna talk about it anyway... cuz i dont care. she's supposed to be my best friend, right? so yeah. i dont know whats been up with me/her/whoever lately... but i feel like things arent the same... like slowly slowly drifting apart. and i dont want that... i hate it so much... every time that i see her i try and act all normal and stuff and be like the same... but something feels weird. i dont know what it is... but its really really making me crazy... i know that after june 9th (when i leave) its probably gonna be a really long time til i see her again... most likely at christmas... but... i dont wanna be feeling this seperation now... not yet... not when i dont have to...
ugh. today.. today... was stupid... it was ok until this afternoon cept that i woke up at 6am this morning and didn't realize that i could have slept til 8 cuz i had my free period first... but anyways... afterschool teddy and amber came over... for what reasons, i dont know... i think cuz they wanted to see my mom or something... agh.... and amber wanted to "talk"... we never really got around to talking... but it was stupid. they just watched me look at pictures for me and meg and hannah's grad party... really annoying. and then teddy left and it was jsut me and amber... she ate and then she left... i dont know what that was about... oh well... anyways. im confused... and that brings me straight back here to where i started... with the english paper that is due tommorow that i haven't even started...
hhhmmmmmmm
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, May 20th, 2006
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4:52 pm - aduh
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I am: loud. quite obnoxious sometimes. slightly neurotic. cold right now. a diet coke addict. happy. listening to dave right now. bored. blonde. tired. not looking forward to tonight.
I am not: what you want me to be. sure where im going to be in the fall. as happy as u might think. touchy feely. your everything.
I have: problems. 10 fingers and 10 toes. lots of headaches. a great best friend. 9 holes in my body that werent there when i was born.
I do not have: a tolerance for people who will do anything to be cool. my own pet tiger. my history paper done.
I need: people. my medicine.
Parting comments: be nice to me.
i might add more later... gator... but as of right now... yeah, i was bored before.. but now im even more bored... hmmm
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, May 19th, 2006
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10:35 pm - trust me on the sunscreen...
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Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
current mood:  happy
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, May 18th, 2006
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5:05 pm - AHHHH!!!!
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9:58 am - so frustrating...
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stupid stupid stupid hotmail isn't working.. its so freaking frustrating... specially when u know u have mail... ARGH!!!!!!!!!
oh yeah... and i think im going crazy... like really... like insane crazy... ok. thats all.. :)
current mood:  crazy
current music: people talking talking
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, May 17th, 2006
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8:51 pm - ignore this...
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sorry... i just put this here so i wouldn't forget it... im totally retarded when it comes to this stuff...
and ill forget it if its anywhere else...
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(comment on this)
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7:31 pm - erhyagad
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blah. just got home from recording... so so so so tired... i just wanna pass out... argh!!!!
current mood:  tired
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, May 16th, 2006
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3:31 pm - kinda weird
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so yeah... today im checking my hotmail and i get this message that says error: intrusion logged... and u know what that means? that means that somebody that isn't supposed to know my password does...and they've been in my email... hmmm... oh well. there isn't really anything in there that i care about other people seeing... it just bothers me... but HAH!!! if ur the person that knows it! well... u dont anymore... i changed it! HAHAHAHAH!!!
I WIN!
YOU LOSE!
current mood:  accomplished
current music: janet - that new song... dunno what its called. its on mtv... blegh
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(comment on this)
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11:38 am - thinking... hmmm...
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ive been doing a lot of thinking and praying about all of this meagan stuff... and ive pretty much come to the decision that its between her and God. It's not something that any of us need to be bothering her about... yeah. thats it.
i hope u appreciate this meg... cuz i love ya
current mood:  satisfied
current music: people playing the piano in d's room and stupid monkey music
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, May 15th, 2006
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12:13 pm - happy!!! happy!!! joy!!! joy!!!
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ok ok ok... i think i finally figured out a way to do it... i am happy... :) see?
u have to right click on the angelfire picture thing.... find out what the picture url is... open it up in another brower and when u go back and refresh my journal, it should show up...
to make things easier i think im just gonna start putting the URL underneath the picture... so u dont have to do the whole right click thing.. :)
FOR SOME WEIRD REASON EVERYTIME I PRESS CTRL + N TO MAKE A NEW WINDOW WITH MY JOURNAL THE PICTURES ALWAYS SHOW UP.. HMMM... MAYBE THAT IS IT... MAYBE ITLL WORK 4 U... MAYBE NOT... BUT THAT THE BEST I CAN DO FOR NOW... TATA
current mood:  confused
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, May 14th, 2006
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8:43 pm
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AHHHH!!! this is so stupid. all i wanna do is put a stinking picture on here and it stinking wont work... agh... anyways... if u wanna see what meg made..
there... that is all :-)
AGHHHHHH!!!!!! i hatethe internet somuch... it wont even show the pic if u go there.. WHAT THE HECK?!?!?!?!?!?! I AM SO ANGRY... so im gonna spend more of my already wasted time uploading this to geocities so that people can see it..
http://www.geocities.com/jalapenocheezpoof/ilovemeagan.jpg
that better freaking work... ok ok. i have to go get ready for school... i hope my day gets better than how it started... poo
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1:59 pm - MEAGAN IS THE BEST BEST FRIEND EVER AND EVER FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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ok. so on saturday im talking to meagan online and she is like.. i got you a present!!! but she wont tell me what she got me... but she says that she'll give it to me next time she sees me... ugh. i am the most impatient person in the entire world... oh well... so anyways.. she wasn't at school this morning so i was like.. :( poo... as you can tell from reading my last journal entry... but yah! she came to school second break... oh SO HAPPY!!! and she had my present!!! HOLY CRAPPERS!!! it was like the best present EVER.. she bought me a pair of low top black converse... YAH!!!!!! but the best part was that she decorated the box and it is soooo beautiful... im putting pictures of it on here... yahoo!!! i hope that they work... ill try my hardest... so anyways.... the only part that sucked was that they didn't fit.. oh well... i figured it out. erin is gonna buy them from me, cuz they will fit her and im gonna go buy a pair of smaller ones... i have tiny tiny feet. meg bought me a 6 thinking that they were gonna be ok... i need a 5 or 5 1/2... hahaha... oh well....so i wanted to tell all yall that... cuz i am SOOOO HAPPY!!!! :-)
anyway... im gonna try and see if i can get these pics to work on here... hopefully :-) these are of the shoe box... man. i hope that this works... :-)
ok ok... im at school and the computer are NOT cooperating... so im gonna have to do the pictures when i get home... poo... oh well
current mood: happy
current music: spiral mouth - come together
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, May 14th, 2001
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9:19 am - MEAGAN!!!!!!
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MEAGAN PLEASE COME TO SCHOOL!!!! IM DROWING IN A SEA OF STUPID PEOPLE... AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! HELP ME!!!!!!!!!
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heavenforbid's journal